__________
Sung was not in the hallway when
the committee left the room, and he was not in the Men's Room where Carl stopped
on the way back to his office. Carl was almost relieved that Sung was not
waiting in the office when he got there, because he really didn't want to face
the student. Carl was annoyed by the prospect of having to spend another year
or more working with Sung on a Master's thesis, checking on him constantly to
be certain that he was performing adequate controls, organizing his data,
correcting the grammar and sentence structure of his thesis, and then having to
sit through a thesis defense with the very real possibility that Sung would
perform as miserably on that examination as he had done on this one.
Carl stayed in his office late that
evening, as usual. He tried to dissociate himself from his student's failure by
working on a theoretical paper that was his secret pride and that had been put
aside during Sung's exam preparation. The sun had set and the office window
that looked out on the silent, surrounding darkness mirrored Carl's silent,
intense activity at his desk, cluttered with references and old notes for the
paper.
Caught in thought, he glanced up
at the blackened window and saw an image there—surreal—as if standing suspended
in mid-air, three stories above the ground. Carl wheeled around in his chair.
He faced a figure standing, feet on the floor, in the fully lighted room.
"Sung!" Carl exclaimed with
a start. "When did you come in? How long have you been standing there
?"
Sung didn't answer. He stood
motionless, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the floor. He glanced up
at Carl for a moment, then lowered his eyes and focused on a spot near Carl's
feet. Sung stood there impassively; his face, uncharacteristically elongate for
an Asian, was expressionless. His eyebrows extended across his forehead in two
straight ridges and his mouth was set in a straight, firm line, parallel to the
brows. The flesh around his eyes seemed puffy and, despite high cheekbones, his
eyes had darkened circles under them. Sung seemed suddenly strange to Carl,
very strange, as if he were someone Carl had never met before, as if the
scientist were seeing the student for the first time.
"We have to talk about your
exam, today," said Carl, bringing up the subject neither he nor Sung
wanted to talk about. "You know you did very poorly on the exam."
"Questions not good. You do
not advise me correctly on questions," retorted Sung with a slightly
belligerent tone.
"Well, there's no way to know
for sure what people are going to ask," said Carl defensively. "You
just have to be prepared and then think on your feet. You are going to have to
learn how to think on your feet."
"When will I take next
examination?"
"You won't. You failed the
exam, but you're lucky the committee didn't just decide to fail you outright. They recommended
that you be allowed to finish at the Master's level."
"But I want to take Doctor's
degree."
"I know that, but you flunked
the examination. You'll have to settle for a Master's degree. Even that won't
necessarily be easy."
"If I take Master's degree,
then I must take Doctor's degree again. How long to do that?"
"Sung, you don't have that
option. Not in this department, at least. You were recommended for a terminal
Master's degree and that's final."
"You give me bad advice,"
said Sung with a tone more hostile than Carl had heard him use before.
With that, Sung moved slightly
backwards and pulled one hand out of his pocket. In the hand was a gun.
"Sung, for God's sake!"
Carl was paralyzed. His mind
whirled back over all his interactions with this student, trying to find a key,
a clue, that might have allowed him to foresee such a catastrophic eventuality.
Nothing. He came up with only a series of missed communications, but nothing
that could have presaged this. What signs had he missed that could have
warned him of this danger? The man was clearly mad. Why had he not seen
that? What about his own future? What about his theory of hydrophobic
interactions that was to be his lasting contribution to an understanding of
organic macromolecules? What about his wife and their two-year-old son? What
about his parents who expected so much of him? What about those childhood
playmates who had once taunted him, to whom he had intended to prove himself
undeniably superior? How had his pursuit
of truth betrayed him so utterly? How was it possible for reality to be so
irrational?
"No, Sung, please."
Sung stood there, still, as if
eternal. Then Carl heard a click, followed quickly by a crack of the gun that
echoed blackly, a split second later, in his skull.
WOW. This was not the ending I was expecting, at all. It's hard to feel much sympathy for Carl, but still.... Wow!
ReplyDeleteThe story has a complicated genesis (probably like most stories), but the idea began when I was doing a (miserable) post-doc in Philadelphia, then was resurrected when I was a faculty member about a decade later. I might tell the "story" of the story in a subsequent blog.
DeleteAs long as you didn't shoot anybody.... ;-)
DeleteThis is really good!
DeleteClo e
DeleteThanks for the comment! I'm just revisiting my blog sites after a lo.o.o.o.ong hiatus, because I've been busy with the publication and marketing of a book that just came out on two years spent in Korea. (FYI, it's available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Korea-Are-You-Peace-Travelers/dp/1458210383/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1376601688&sr=1-1&keywords=Korea%2C+Are+You+at+Peace%3F )
I don't know that "enjoyed" is correct, but great story. Aside from the flashbacks to my own dissertation defense : ) It might be my own experience, having been on both sides of the student/faculty fence, but I felt compassion for both of them, Sung and Carl. Neither one seems prepared for the position in which they find themselves. Sung isn't ready for graduate-level science studies and Carl isn't ready to mentor anyone. Sad, believable depiction of the scenario from Carl's perspective. It would be interesting to see the same story now from Sung's POV (I think a similar true story from the student POV is what prompted this?) Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lynne, for your commentary. Yes, the origin of the story was something I read in a newspaper, coupled with my own experiences. I do an analysis (how reality and fiction are intertwined) in the September blog. I haven't been posting any more short stories here because I want to try to do some Kindle Singles, and I don't think they'll take them if they've been published previously - which includes on any online site.
ReplyDelete